Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster
Unraveling the Complexities of Anxiety and Family Dynamics in Therapy
Welcome to my blog series. This post marks the third installment in my self-growth journey. If you haven’t read the first post on Mental Health Stigma, I recommend starting there to gain a complete understanding of the story. Don’t miss out on the beginning!.
I am preparing for my therapy session and I must admit, I am experiencing a mix of emotions at the moment. It’s like a rollercoaster in my mind – disbelief, nervousness, but also a glimmer of determination pushing me forward.
Step by step, I make my way to the psychologist’s office, my legs trembling and my palms getting slightly sweaty. But as soon as I enter, I am greeted by a calm and confident professional who instantly eases the tension in my body. It’s like a breath of fresh air.
An Opportunity for Vulnerability
– I am breathing in and out.- I am here because I want to understand me better, to understand what is happening with me, and why I am so anxious all the time. Lately, things have been a bit difficult with my mother. To be honest, I am not sure if it has been always like this, but now I am noticing it, and I don’t know how to manage it.
She has always had strict expectations to “earn” her love, and it feels suffocating. Talking about it feels like I am betraying my mom and our bond, and it is difficult to even articulate whatever I have inside my heart.
The Unpredictable Nature of Childhood
I feel guided by the psychologist’s words, which makes me feel less alone and more understood. So, I’m going to speak without overthinking.
– It makes me thinking like kind of jumping; I will jump and think later. –
As a child, trying to understand my mother’s reactions was difficult. I did not know if I was doing something correctly or not. It left me in constant fear of how she would respond.
These are factors influencing my current reactions according to the phycologist. – I am surprised – Think of me now like that “ thinking emoji of WhatsApp” ><.
Why do I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells with people? Why do I feel I need to always be at my best to be loved?…. Yep, yep, the psychologist confirmed and looks like it’s correlated. These things are correlated and I did not know.
Unraveling the Complexity
There are also other aspects of my life which for sure may add to my anxiety such as; the many dangerous situations I have witnessed, my understanding of death in a young age, the violence around me, the impact of religion, and the effects of poverty.
All these experiences have shaped who I was and build who I am today. It’s kind of overwhelming, but I am starting to understand more detail how my childhood experiences are impacting my life today.
A Sense of Accomplishment
My first official therapy session is over. I’m feeling good about it. We didn’t delve too deeply into things, but we covered enough to get an overview of what’s coming next and to identify the potential factors that are causing me stress.
I feel a sense of accomplishment because I’ve been really scared about starting therapy, and now I can say that I’ve attended my first session.
Seeking Support
I want to emphasize that the therapist I am currently seeing is publicly sponsored, so I have the opportunity to attend several free sessions despite limited resources. In a world where resources can be scarce, it is crucial not to lose hope in finding sources of support.
These moments can be truly invaluable, guiding us through the maze of our emotions. Even if financial constraints seem insurmountable, options are waiting to be discovered. So keep searching for the help you deserve, because there is always a light to guide us through the darkest of nights
The impact of anxiety on emotional development and its consequences should never hinder us from seeking the support we need.
PS. For more details – An empowering platform that offers a wealth of information on mental health topics is Psychology Today , where you can find articles, blogs, and therapist directories that may assist you in your journey towards healing and self-discovery.